Our Friend JC

If JC was a good friend of ours: (it doesn't have to always be a joke, Jordy Pants...jeez ;) )

He'd be a solid to extra solid dude of Greek ancestry.

He'd be tall, well kind of tall...and he'd have hair.

He'd be so nice that if he accidentally broke your blender top while making Thanksgiving dinner, he'd keep offering to replace it for about a year even though you told him it was no big deal and not to worry about it when it happened.

He'd also have made the same Thanksgiving tons of fun with his wit and generous spirit.

Happy 30th JC :)

HOW JC IS LIKE A JERK WHO TAKES YOUR MONEY IN POKER

1. He likes to play poker.

2. He is a jerk.

3. He takes your money when you play him in poker.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG GUY!!!!

If JC were a pro football team in the 17th week of the NFL season, he'd be the New England Patriots.  Aside from the obvious similarities - the class, the raw talent, the ability to engineer great comebacks, and the recent history of kicking ass - he's mostly just  a team you can't help but root for.  He also looks great in tights.

 

-David

If JC Were a Constellation

If JC were a constellation, he would be Orion. Unlike the mythical hunter, JC searches for his prey in the halls of the complex, the vaults of the temple, and the underground rooms of the bunker. JC is equally comfortable weilding rocketlaunchers and sniper rifles as he is awkwardly slapping his opponents.

Runner up: labia majora

If JC Were a Professional Basketball Player

If JC were a professional basketball player, he would have been kicked out of the league by now for his bad attitude and insistence that everyone refer to the gameball as Dr. Weinstein.

Runner up: Wilt Chamberlain

If JC's name were an acronym

If JC's name were an acronym, it would stand for "James Carl."

Runner up: Jackson Crocodile

If JC Were a Fruit

If JC were a fruit, he'd almost certainly be a durian. An acquired taste, to be certain, but enjoyment of this friendly and unassuming fruit is an indisputable sign of sophistication.

Like the durian, JC boasts an intimidating outer shell. His hefty guns and pointy shoulders warn people that might eat him that such an act would be met with at least some resistance. But the shells of both of these unique organisms are poor prelude to the immense power and unique character found below the surface.

Runner up: Tomato

Mini JC

Many have made this joke before. Perhaps I more than any other. But it's worth repeating.

This kid bears an uncanny resemblance to James Carl.

Crazy Frog Bros
Uploaded by gamaniak

A couple of possibilities:

JC cloned himself 1/8 size.

JC had a twin brother who was frozen as a zygote and hatched down the road.

JC fathered a child at an incredibly young age with another lanky goofy individual.

JC can reproduced asexually via rhizomes, budding, etc. (Terrifying).

JC, as a child, traveled forward in time to take advantage of webcams, youtube and the release of the song "crazy frog."

Happy 30th you ol' weirdo. I love you even more than I love the above video.