Unfortunately, this isn't a hypothetical scenario. I was throwing a Superbowl party in New Haven, CT, in February of 2006, and I was hoping that it would be awesome and all my guests would love my kickass delicious chili. In an incredible feat of poor planning, I waited until the afternoon of the Superbowl party to purchase all of my supplies. When I got to the Shaw's meat section, I could find no ground beef. I couldn't even find ground turkey, chicken, or monkfish, for that matter. All that was left in the wasteland of the meat section was pigs' feet.
Dejected, I returned to my house to prepare to greet my guests, who would be arriving shortly. All the life was sapped from my party before it even started; my guests didn't know it yet, but there would be no chili for them. JC showed up among the first (of course) and, upon hearing of the dire situation, he drove to Hamden and found ground beef. He made the round trip journey in something like eight minutes, too. He got back to my house long before the other guests, delivered the beef, and saved the day. By the 2nd quarter, there was ample and steamy chili for all, and only because JC is a better clutch performer than David Ortiz.
